Wednesday, April 15, 2009

'cause nothing will last forever

I haven't posted on this in forever.
There have been so many random things that have been happening, I can't even seem to keep track.
I have noticed my great struggle to become grown up now.
This was something that I couldn't seem to shake, but it has improved greatly.
I am already looking at grad schools and will be applying next year.
I feel such a lack of confidence in where I want to go and what I want to do.
I was preventing myself from staying up late and going out with friends.
I was acting like I wasn't in college and was trying to become this artificial stiff person.
The past two weeks this has changed greatly.
I think I have finally overcome my endless stream of illness and last weekend I actually went out and stayed up late.
Yes, I do need to think maturely in the sense that I have some important decisions to make in the near future, but that doesn't mean that I have to pretend that I'm a boring adult.
I mean, come on, I couldn't even pull that off if I wanted to. I barely look my age anyway.
The stress from the two weeks of school I have left has suddenly left me for no apparent reason.
This is odd considering today that I found out that I have surpassed the amount of absences I'm allowed for digital photo which means that I could possibly fail.
I won't lie, I left class fighting back some major tears, realizing that I am about to fail the class that has my major as its title, but that doesn't mean that I can't press on and hold my head high.
After an outing with Annie to eat the best crepes I have ever had (food makes everything better) I am feeling at peace.
I can do this.
I want to be a photographer and damnit, I will become one!
My mom sent me a link of a gorgeous married couple that has their own studio in Savannah, and after reading their bio I feel completely inspired.
They had no educational training whatsoever and their work is beautiful and they're successful.
If this is what I want and am passionate about, then why not just go for it!
I can get there.
God knows how to lead me, I think now all I need to do is learn how to be a better follower.



Ok....now for some new stuff. This is very early in the making, but here are some pictures I took last night for my final self-assigned project. I am calling it "painting with light." Michael and Leah were so dear to take time away from being together to help me. It was loads of fun.